1. I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to
pair up with congenial TACGTAC.

2. Ménage à trois! Ligands seeks two receptors into binding and mutual
phosphorylation. Let's get together and transduce some signals.

3. Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as
a real operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who
is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.

4. Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable
well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything.

5. There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging
out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into
the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my
active sight and really turn me on. I'll send my crystal structure if
you send me yours!

6. Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but
gibberish, I've shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All
I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host.

7. My dearest RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted
three tyrosines when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost
in the translation. Please forgive me.

8. Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1
sites preferred.

9. Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my protein coat.

10. This very selective oligonucleotide has been probing for just the
right target for long term hybridization.

11. Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go
apoptotic on me. Let's fight senescence together!

12. I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and
self-renewal. Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who
still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation.

13. I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for
a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message
that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and
release my potential energy.

To respond to one of these ads, post a message at your local scintillation counter, autoclave or ultracentrifuge.

author unknown

Do You Have The Cure?

Hi, I'm a nerve bundle waiting for a knight in shining armour. Some idiot phagiocytes have been hitting on me all week and I'm about to lose my mylinated sheath. There will be sparks flying if you find me and I would prefer our first encounters be protected by a regenerated protein sheath!

Koo Koo About You

Hi, I saw you the other day in the Cafeteria. I could smell your neuroreceptors picking up my neurotransmitters a mile away. If there is a way we can convince our organisms to go jogging, we could loosen up our first date with some excellent endomorphines!

Really funny though!!!

I've been swelling ever since you examined me. Didn't you know prostates
engorge at the touch of latex? Really, doctor, your diagnosis of our future relationship is truely and unwarrantedly exaggerated!

Thanks theOwl! Happy Whatever!

I'd love to respond to some of those ads ... unfortunately I'm fairly happily married at present

- Sivakami.

Let Magnetic Coloidal and associates help you get away from that certain leukiocyte.